Like a river....

A normal day. Get up,get ready for work,thinking of what needs to be done how it can be achieved. Looks in the mirror as eyeliner is applied with a fierce precision. Mascara is quickly brushed on the lashes. Hair is perfectly in place. Ready for battle. Has purse in hand,and almost out the door. She feels something warm and wet and rushes into the bathroom. Blood everywhere. It is as if her life is bleeding out by the ounce,yet the pain is not there. She looks at the crime scene that just appeared on the floor and for some wicked reason she smiles. She cleans up the mess and changes. Tells her friend she has to go to the hospital,but she has to stop by her store to let them know she will not be in today. Sitting in the waiting room,nothing but the smell of bleach is in the air. Her name is called and she limps to the room that has been made ready just for her. She looks at the room,white plastic sheets on the bed,plastic pillow, shiny metal instruments and a vase of silk flowers.She was told to undress,and to put "these" on. Dressed in the gown,the girl hears a know on the door. The doctor enters the room,and she knows its time to be prodded. As one shiny metal tool after another does its job,tears spill down her face. "Well,what is happening to you is what we call non specific uterine hemorrhaging" says the doctor in her cruel uncaring voice. "Medication will help for the pain but there is nothing we can do" She gets up,wipes herself off and gets dressed again. On her way home she suffers. She looks out the window and does not say a word. Maybe she will finally get her wish. Maybe her life will bleed out before her eyes. A sinister smile appears,and her friend asks her..."Are you okay?" The girl nods her head yes and looks back out the window. Finally home. Walking has become even more painful. She steps into the house,and then it comes...more blood and more pain. She clenches her fists to her sides and bites her lip to keep from screaming out loud. Never in her life has she felt this. She smiles in spite of it all. She may get her wish after all. She goes into the shower and watches as her blood flows from her like a river. She becomes even more pale,and falls to the floor. She is awaken by a knock at the door and a friendly voice "Hey bloody Mary...are you okay?' The girls responds "Not fucking funny and yes I am fine"  a lie she herself did not even believe. As she sits in the shower and bleeds out,all her memories flash through her mind like a movie. So vivid they are. She tastes the great food,hears her children laugh,feels her late husbands kiss,smells his cologne and  the shampoo she would use on her children.Well,if she is to die this way,then at least she goes with the memories she loved. It has all turned black. Cold and warmth consume her body, Almost there. A bright light and a shock to her system. She opens her eyes and she is back in the hospital. She hears voices. She screams because she knew she was in DEATH'S arms,and was ripped away from them. She was so close to going home,now she is once again surrounded by plastic sheets and the smell of bleach......

Flesh on vinyl...

Music is loud. The base vibrates me to my core. Body is showered by the  sweat,and my naked flesh is against the vinyl. Heart is racing,hair sticks to the side of my face. Nothing matters right now but my actions and my movements. Now I am free...free to be just me. Body moves in time to the music,flesh is on the vinyl. I don't need to think about you or anyone....free to be just me. A beautiful Gothic woman who has the world in the palm of her pale hand.. The lies I have been told are nothing but a memory. The fucked up day at work,gone. The worries,the no longer exists. All that matters is her,her body and the luscious beat of the drum and the pounding of the base. Thighs shake from going up and down in time,sweat continues to pour,hair drenched now. Body is one with the music....flesh on vinyl. I am who I always wanted to be,I am who I was meant to be. You don't matter,the pain does not matter,the ego trip is mine and mine alone. Mind goes to a dark place,but yet a sinister smile spreads across my face. Rusty nails in flesh,and a hammer in hand. Sex,flesh.blood,pain,lust,bliss,orgasm,love,life,you....Snapped back into the cruel reality that all this was just a thought process that began from the feeling of my flesh on the vinyl.....

Alone in silence....

As I sit here in the dark,the only light is from the glow of my computer screen,my mind wonders. I think of many things and wonder what if I had done them different,would I be who I am today? What if I was more socially accepted in school,would I be different now in my life? Have that dream job,a solid future? If I wasn't the outcast,would things have played out different for me? Would I own my own home,live that fairy tale life that others have come to believe actually existed? Well,I do believe in fairy tales,but the one's that I enjoy are very grim to say the least. The dark side of things has always intrigued me,and they suit me as well. I have my times of pain as well as happiness,but change anything about me? BLOODY HELL NO!!! If anything was changed,I would not be who I am now. For those of you who know me,be it face to face or on Facebook,you know my story,and you have an insight on my thought process. Our trials and tribulations are badges of honor that should be worn proudly. It's not about the end result,it is all about the journey we take to get there. We meet many people along the way,some we remember,and others that we beg to forget. I am proud of the wicked woman I have become. I will always stand out in my own way,and wear pain as beautifully as I can. See,for those who do not know,I did have that fairy tale. A wonderful husband and three angelic children. My husband passed away next to me in our bed 16 days after we were married,shortly after that two of my children were taken away from me by his mother. All I have left are old pictures and memories of my past. It is just me and Corbin now. Me and him against the world. He is all I have left from my fairy tale. That is fine with me. Things changed for me in a blink of an eye,my downward spiral. I am slowly coming back to my own,but I have changed. I am a bit darker,a bit more evil,and trust less,yet I have learned never to take for granted those who are in my life. I would give it all away for just one more kiss,one more hug,another laugh from them all....
Well reader's...thank you for taking the time to look into my soul
Bites and Bloody Kisses.....

J-me

Let me remind you of why you were scared in the first place....

Greetings to all my Gothlings. I hope your evening is is just as dark and sinister as mine is. So my question for you all is this,what film scared you the most as a child? I am talking about what scared you so very bad that when the title was spoken aloud,you shivered,the film that made you awake from a sound sleep screaming in terror,the one that made you keep your arms and legs from being draped off the side of your bed at night? Now that I have your attention,I will tell you mine.
The one that did it for me was a Canadian horror film from the 1980's called "Terror Train". This film was directed by Roger Spottiswoode,and had a cast of a few names we all know and love,such as Jamie Lee Curtis who plays "Alana" the sexy co-ed,and David Copperfield (yes I am serious) who plays the hired magician (not original but hey)
So it starts off at a New Year's Eve party at a college frat house. Sexy Alana was convinced to play a trick on a shy freshman named "Kenny" who is played by Derrick MacKinnon. Alana tells Kenny to meet her in a room for a good time of sex and fun. But what Kenny doesn't know,is that Alana will not be in the room waiting for him. Instead,there is a corpse in the bed. Kenny goes insane and was locked away in a psychiatric hospital. Three years pass,and the group of students meet up again for a costume party that takes place on a train. One by one they students turn up dead. Remembering that Kenny was a huge fan of magic,the surviving students believe that the magician is actually shy Kenny. During all this turmoil Kenny finally meets Alana face to face and forces her to kiss him. After the kiss,Kenny relives the past and falls deeper into his insanity.  Alana's boyfriend finds them,beats the shit out of Kenny with a shovel,and causes Kenny to fall to his death from the train's door. The final scene shows Kenny's body fall into the ice filled water,and the train moving on.
Now I know it doesn't sound that scary,but the mask that Kenny wears is none other than a Groucho Marx mask,fucking scary to me as a child. My brother's would just say this title and I would scream. Ever since then,me being 5 years old,that seed was sewn. The sexy sound of the siren's scream of terror,the rush and anticipation of the killer stalking his victim,the lust I felt when waiting to see the blood spatter...oh yes,I am a fan.
So with that being said,tell me reader's...what scared you? What reminds you of why you are scared of the dark?
Bites and Bloody Kisses
J-me

Random...

So with all that is going on in today's film industry,I have to wonder...Have new ideas been lost? None coming to mind? Seems to many remakes have graced my beloved screen and I am not to thrilled. One movie has put a sinister smile across my pale face and that is The Orphan Killer. I have to say this movie has made me remember why I fell in love with blood and death in the first place.